I Need A Gatorade

2 Oct

This is how I feel today.

This is how I feel today.

So I am really hungover today, which is why I love that Real Time with Bill Maher airs on Friday nights. There’s nothing like getting a few new brain cells on a Saturday, after a night of mixed drinks and unnecessarily loud dance music. Psychologically at least, it’s a wash.

Last night’s predictably awesome guests included Bob Woodward, David Cross, Arianna Huffington and Princeton professor and all-around badass Cornel West. Also Time magazine columnist Joe Klein [Sidebar: It’s always struck me as weird that Time still has editorial credibility even though no one on the planet reads it anymore.] Long story short, they’ve all written books! Which begs the question: At what age should I start frequenting bars during my lunch hour, downing whiskey and bemoaning the fact that I haven’t written a book yet? 26?

As I mentioned before, I’m in the middle of David Cross’ I Drink for a Reason, which you should want to read based on its title alone, but also happens to be incredibly funny (if you like David Cross). So super, one less Wishlist addition there.

Unfortunately for my semi-sincere intention of lessening my book-buying, three other newbies made the list based on last night’s episode. At least these books will prepare me for fancypants cocktail party conversations.


Arianna Huffington

I know it sounds like the kind of book Glenn Beck uses to wipe his ass, and I typically hate super-declarative titles that include words like “abandoning” and “betraying,” but I never cease to be amazed with how well-spoken Arianna Huffington is in person. [Sidebar: My general awe with respect to Real Time is how these people manage to, within seconds, put together coherent and informed sentences that more often than not make me (sitting on my couch in dirty sweatpants dipping pretzel rods into ice cream, mind you) go “Fucking genius.” …Clearly I was not a contender for the debate team.] Anywhos, whether or not I love it, the book’s title does pretty much sum up what it’s about; on the show she talked about the “decoupling” (I put this in quotes because it was a pretty sweet pull out of the ole’ vocabulary bag and she deserves credit) between the Wall Street economy and the real economy. Now, I’ve been eating my Michael Moore flakes lately, and I’m beginning to wonder whether capitalism is even compatible with the kind of empathetic government the left is (rightfully) pushing. So I’m intrigued to hear more. Also, she has great hair.

Bob Woodward

This one was already on my Wishlist, but I figure I’ll give it a shout-out just the same. If you haven’t read about it already, this is the book that caused a mini-hubbub because of its fairly detailed depiction of Obama’s approach in Afghanistan. Woodward (you know, of Watergate fame) somehow gained access to a bunch of minutes from relatively important war-related meetings, so there are a lot of direct quotes and salacious-seeming but probably fairly routine conversations between higher-ups. Most of it is attributed to anonymous sources, and critics have said it’s a bit sensational, but who doesn’t love some good gossip. Also, Bob Woodward talks like a robot so I’m really hoping he’s a phenomenal writer. The only downside is the cover, which looks like the kind of Photoshop work fourth-graders are doing these days.

Cornel West

I actually read West’s Race Matters in college for a class about the black prison experience–I know, right?–so I’m familiar with his general ideology. He’s astronomically intelligent, but that isn’t really why I want to read this book. The best part about Cornel West, and I suspect this is why he’s a professor, is his kooky personality. He wears great outfits, has a stellar laugh and affects a sort of beatnik 1960s “Righteous, my brother” way of speaking. He’s even on Twitter. So even though I love hearing his views on race and the economy and other depressing shit, I’m equally excited to see him talk about himself. And again, great hair.

So there you have it. Three more books, three more weeks. At this rate I’ll be reading until I’m dead. Which….would be fine.

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